To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. MOST OF us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. He subsequently denied having received the money and used the incident as a basis for discrediting the man. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. That he has not always done so for the alcoholic is easily understood. Michele Dotrice Wiki, He was sober. Here is a brief account: Years ago, in 1935, one of our number made a journey to a certain western city. Argument and fault-finding are to be avoided like the plague. But our man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to set right the wrong. We have been unselfish and self- sacrificing. This may hang on for months, long after their mother has accepted dads new way of living and thinking. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. People of faith have a logical idea of what life is all about. I've been around AA for 18,years yet sober 4 but months and have heard of many suggestions however reading the first 164 pages of the big book has caused me to be curious, by no means am i disagreeing with this afterall the big book is the bible of AA therefore i have no problem at all, anyway can you please tell me how this came about because i know for a fact . How could he possibly make a public statement exonerating his rival? If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered. Then I ordered another cocktail. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. Instead, the problem has been removed. Chapters describing the A.A. recovery program remain unchanged. Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. In no time I was beating on the bar asking myself how it happened. The curve of my declining moral and bodily health fell off like a ski-jump. We may be short in our accounts and unable to make good. Can he talk frankly with you so long as he does not bear business tales or criticize his associates? Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened. When we were finished we considered it carefully. In desperation, we have even got tight ourselves-the drunk to end all drunks. Then, gathering all his forces, he attempted to stop altogether and found he could not. This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. It's a way of life. Now I was to plunge into the dark, joining that endless procession of sots who had gone on before. As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. There is a real interest, both humanitarian and business, in the well-being of employees. When your husband is bad, you become a trembling recluse, wishing the telephone had never been invented. We meet frequently so that newcomers may find the fellowship they seek. Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that he neednt see you again if he doesnt want to. Every few days this doctor suggests our approach to one of his patients. We looked upon this world of warring individuals, warring theological systems, and inexplicable calamity, with deep skepticism. His wife is one of those persons who really feels there is something rather sinful about these commodities, so she nagged, and her intolerance finally threw him into a fit of anger. It poured over and through him with the certainty and majesty of a great tide at flood. In a weak moment he may take your dislike of his high-stepping friends as one of those insanely trivial excuses to drink. You should not be offended if he wants to call it off, for he has helped you more than you have helped him. Show him that as alcoholics, the writers of the book understand. Yes, we had been faithful, abjectly faithful to the God of Reason. Our friends have counseled chucking the men and we have done so with finality, only to be back in a little while hoping, always hoping. Re: How many times should I read the big book? These family dissensions are very dangerous, especially to your husband. He knows that thousands of men, much like himself, have recovered. They are questions for each individual to settle for himself. We landed in England. Over and over, he would say: Thats me. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. To be helpful is our only aim. That was all. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. We first saw Fred about a year ago in a hospital where he had gone to recover from a bad case of jitters. Here was love, applause, war; moments sublime with intervals hilarious. Beginning with such complaints, a barrier arises. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man. How many copies went were put into circulation? But when he gets over the spree, he begins to think once more how he can drink moderately next time. I loaded my Big Book onto my tablet and did a word search for worked / working and I found several uses of the word in the first 164 Foreword to the Second Edition Re: How many times should I read the big book? That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. All men of faith have courage. Because it helped so many people recover, the Alcoholics Anonymous organization did not change it. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry. Some day we hope that every alcoholic who journeys will find a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination. Answer (1 of 2): As others indicated, it depends on page size and font. All of us spend much of our spare time in the sort of effort which we are going to describe. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. Below are copies in various formats of the Big Book. God alone can judge our sex situation. According to the Big Book, how many copies were sold of the. If we cannot or would rather not do this, we search our acquaintance for a close-mouthed, understanding friend. This involves a process of deflation. God save me from being angry. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? Have there been any significant changes in the first 164 pages? It is open, we believe, to all men. You will thus get a better idea of how you ought to proceed. Available spacing options: single spaced, 1.5, double spaced. So let each family play together or separately, as much as their circumstances warrant. But he did no ranting. * This refers to Bills first visit with Dr. Bob. Oh no, said my friend, this chap is either through with liquor, or he is minus a job. Who are you fellows, and why this private room? Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help. But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God, for we have re- opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored. By the time I had completed the course, I knew the law was not for me. The first 164 pages of the Big Book is the outline for recovery, which constitute the "program" of recovery. You and your husband will find that you can dispose of serious problems easier than you can the trivial ones. It was so with us. Fear sobered me for a bit. If the family persists in criticism, this fallacy may take a still greater hold on father. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. No-not now. His wife came, scarcely daring to be hopeful, though she thought she saw something different about her husband already. I have been learning something about alcoholism. Come, whats this all about? I queried. Of course our friend was wrong-dead wrong. These members words are not necessarily in conjunction with the instruction pages. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly. That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people who, though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time, are able to stop or moderate, because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were. They see its significance everywhere. He may either plunge into a frantic attempt to get on his feet in business, or he may be so enthralled by his new life that he talks or thinks of little else. Post by Brock Tue Dec 10, 2013 6:31 pm Franky wrote: I would also work the Step as my Sponsee worked the Step. Sometimes a small deal would net a few hundred dollars, and I would pay my bills at the bars and delicatessens. Select the book genre. He may be anything but that. We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. They had seen miracles, and one was to come to them. This is the Great Fact for us. Painfully aware of being somehow abnormal, the man did not fully realize what it meant to be alcoholic. While a general guideline is one page is 500 words (single spaced) or 250 words (double spaced), this is a ballpark figure. To his wife, he remarked, Dont see anything the matter here, Ma. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldnt want it. This experience may come to you. Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. This may lead to lonely evenings for you. As we shall see, he now means a great deal to his community, and the major liabilities of thirty years of hard drinking have been repaired in four. The First 164 pages of The Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking. So cooperate; never criticize. Hence we are at pains to tell why we think our present faith is reasonable, why we think it more sane and logical to believe than not to believe, why we say our former thinking was soft and mushy when we threw up our hands in doubt and said, We dont know.. This should suggest a useful program for anyone concerned with a drinking problem. We had to ask ourselves why we shouldnt apply to our human problems this same readiness to change our point of view. It is not by chance we were given the power to reason, to examine the evidence of our senses, and to draw conclusions. Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. What could we have done better? Patience, tolerance, understanding and love are the watchwords. But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. But after his next binge, ask him if he would really like to get over drinking for good. When his wife next calls saying he is sick, you might jump to the conclusion he is drunk. Some people tell us so. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. After all, are you not looking for results rather than methods? And why? You cannot see why it should be to anyone else, save the spineless and stupid. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Doctors had pronounced him incurable. His human will had failed. At the beginning of recovery a man will take, as a rule, one of two directions. Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to stop. His moral teaching-most excellent. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. He is undoubtedly on the road to recovery. But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. Were nothing left but pure reason, it wouldnt be life. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. We want to analyze mistakes we have made. He will have no further reason for covering up an alcoholic employee. We had a new Employer. My wife began to work in a department store, coming home exhausted to find me drunk. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead! I am enclosing an attachment below of the books that the first 100 guys read before there was AA and a Big Book. He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. Stress the spiritual feature freely. After a while, turn the talk to some phase of drinking. Yet often such men had spectacular and powerful recoveries. I took a night law course, and obtained employment as investigator for a surety company. You might place this book where he can see it in the interval. If he owes you money you may wish to make terms. Maybe we are divorced, and have remarried but havent kept up the alimony to number one. You need this information to put yourself in his place, to see how you would like him to approach you if the tables were turned. A firm attitude at this point has helped many of us. Assume on the other hand that father has, at the outset, a stirring spiritual experience. You are willing to overlook his past performances. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Circumstances made him willing to believe. The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Small wonder many in the medical profession have a low opinion of alcoholics and their chance for recovery! His action met wide-spread approval, and today he is one of the most trusted citizens of his town. 11 pt type - divide your word count by 425. These memories are a nightmare. He is a good salesman. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. In AA Comes of Age (p. 164) Bill wrote We had not gone much farther with the text of the book when it was The emphasis is on the first 89 pages of the Book, which have not been altered since originally published in 1939. Sometimes mother and children dont think so. Counsel with persons is often desirable, but we let God be the final judge. If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can-if he is not too alcoholic. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. We say this because we are very anxious that we talk to the right person. Perhaps they were right. They explained their need and inquired if she had a first class alcoholic prospect. As our husbands began to apply spiritual principles in their lives, we began to see the desirability of doing so too. Be sure you are not critical during such a discussion. Fred would not believe himself an alcoholic, much less accept a spiritual remedy for his problem. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. What they say will apply to nearly everyone bound by ties of blood or affection to an alcoholic. But obviously you cannot transmit something you havent got. But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self- knowledge. The title page says it all. He begged the doctor to tell him the whole truth, and he got it. Bom Jesus dos Perdes, Bragana Paulista, Cabreva, Caieiras, Cajamar, Campo Limpo Paulista, I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me. Business failure, insanity, fatal illness, suicide these calamities in his immediate family embittered and depressed him. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Lets talk about it later. If your husband is trying to live on a spiritual basis, he will also be doing everything in his power to avoid disagreement or contention. Many times I have gone to my old hospital in despair. Perhaps you are not quite in sympathy with the approach we suggest. Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. Selfishness self-centeredness! If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. Were not these things the tissue out of which our lives were constructed? Many doctors and psychiatrists agree with our conclusions. We have enjoyed such evenings ourselves; we had a good time. His business may suffer somewhat. At some of these we balked. The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose. What does Surrender Mean?The hardest thing about trusting Alco_9781893007161_6p_01_r6.qxd 8/13/07 10:55 AM Page 155. his By the very act of critiquing Chapter 4, We Agnostics, I admittedly commit AA heresy. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. Psychologists are inclined to agree with us. Bitterly discouraged, he found himself in a strange place, discredited and almost broke. Because of the employees special ability, or of his own strong personal attachment to him, the employer has sometimes kept such a man at work long beyond a reasonable period. But does he? HAVING MADE our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? Faith without works was dead, he said. The Doctors Opinion. Except for seamless and commendably transparent gender-balancing (e.g., sans the grotesque "s/he" or the infamous Oxfordian "Mother/Father God"), some replacements of obsolete 1930s slang, and a few substitutions of the phrase "Higher . 69 SEX - We asked God to mold our ideals and help us live up to them. Being certain he wants to stop, you can go to him with this volume as joyfully as though you had struck oil. Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. Shortly afterward I came home drunk. An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature. Near you, alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship. Arrived at this point, we were squarely confronted with the question of faith. Let us tell you the rest of the conversation our friend had with his doctor. We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed definite signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for a long period because of an overpowering desire to do so. During those first days of convalescence, this will do more to insure his sobriety than anything else. But all problems will not be solved at once. His ways of thinking and doing are the habits of years. They may be disgusting. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. Click here for sample pages in .pdf format . And I did. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He listened in wonder as I talked. Why We Created This Tool. Paragraph numbers along side the text for easy reference. I rightly imagined that they would some day have a great rise. He knows the alcoholic as the employer sees him. What would I not give to make amends. The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. We all know that the first 164 pages of the big book are the meat and potatoes this books first 164 is only 90 pages! Was I crazy? I saw I could not take so much as one drink. However intelligent we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane. On one proposition, however, these men and women are strikingly agreed. We had to have Gods help. Joykiller, nag, wet blanket-thats what they said. My talent for leadership, I imagined, would place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance. In competent hands, this seldom takes long nor is it very expensive. If you and your husband find a solution for the pressing problem of drink you are, of course, going to be very happy. He enjoys drinking. There had been no real infidelity, for loyalty to my wife, helped at times by extreme drunkenness, kept me out of those scrapes. While drinking, he accepted a sum of money from a bitterly-hated business rival, giving him no receipt for it. Includes pages 1-164 and: - The original Foreword - The Doctor's Opinion - Dr. Bob's Story - If you can't find the passages cited in your Big Book, try the provided chapter/story name as an aid. If he is alcoholic, he will understand you at once. We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can. We were reborn. There is comfort in knowing you arent alone, that what youre feeling isnt unusual, and that there is a solution. They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he cant feel the ache. They need your companionship and your help. We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. The free version features the full text of the Big Book, prayers, personal stories, podcasts, meeting finder, and more! But drinking does complicate sex relations in the home. You should continue to be friendly to them. Let him see that you want to be helpful rather than critical. One day I went to Washington to present some accounting evidence to a government bureau. But the policy of this company is not to interfere with the habits of our employees. This should be an entirely personal affair which each one decides for himself in the light of past associations, or his present choice. Yet in ancient times material progress was painfully slow. We have sometimes reflected more than Jim did upon the consequences. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. Liquor caught up with me much faster than I came up behind Walter. The family must realize that dad, though marvelously improved, is still convalescing. We have made our demonstration, done our part. You can select the following fonts: Arial, Calibri, Comic sans MS, Courier New, Times New Roman and Verdana. We cannot answer the riddle. Now, the domestic problem: There may be divorce, separation, or just strained relations. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book. The first impulse will be to bury these skeletons in a dark closet and padlock the door. 39 How many times is the word powerless used in the first 164 pages? The more you type, the more precise the results. The great boom of the late twenties was seething and swelling. Stepping into his car, he made the rounds of people he had hurt. How could they? They can hardly fail to approve these simple principles, though the head of the house still fails somewhat in practicing them. If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. Dad may be tired at night and preoccupied by day. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. He will feel he can deal with you without being nagged by his family. This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. This practice enables us to lend a hand, at the same time avoiding certain alluring distractions of the road, about which any traveling man can inform you. So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. If you are an alcoholic, you are a mighty sick man. I knew then. We were bothered with the thought that faith and dependence upon a Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even cowardly. There is another thing you might wish to do. He has not had a drink since. Why cant he? Why dont you drink like a gentleman or quit? That fellow cant handle his liquor. Why dont you try beer and wine? Lay off the hard stuff. His will power must be weak. He could stop if he wanted to. Shes such a sweet girl, I should think hed stop for her sake. The doctor told him that if he ever drank again it would kill him, but there he is all lit up again.. People like you are too heartbreaking. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. The use of spiritual principles in such cases was not so well understood as it is now. But I cannot accept as surely true the many articles of faith which are so plain to him. So it was comforting to learn that we could commence at a simpler level. The family will be affected also, pleasantly at first, as they feel their money troubles are about to be solved, then not so pleasantly as they find themselves neglected. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism. Thus mother, through no fault of her own, became accustomed to wearing the family trousers. The best way to get in touch with Alcoholics Anonymous is through your local telephone book by simply looking up Alcoholics Anonymous in the White Pages. We have struck out viciously. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory. Then perhaps he will be interested enough to continue. Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. Why could they not see that drink meant ruin to them? They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. We meet these conditions every day. Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Instead, you will capitalize them. That is our experience. We stood at the turning point. This he may do after he gets hurt some more. Business and professional men have regained their standing. If he does not want to stop drinking, dont waste time trying to persuade him. Posted on . Some employers have tried every known remedy. I simply didnt know. So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. You avoid the subject of drinking, even with your own parents. Dad may feel that for years his drinking has placed him on the wrong side of every argument, but that now he has become a superior person with God on his side. Well, just that did happen and more, for what I had learned of alcoholism did not occur to me at all. He talked for hours. It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give. The chances are he will not for, like yourself, he is just beginning his development. Scarlet Ibis Rum Substitute, It may be just the jolt he needs. Who wouldnt be, with such a fevered brain? Your understanding treatment of their cases will pay dividends. Give him an account of the struggles you made to stop. If you do stay, let him steer the conversation in any direction he likes. If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing. He made up his mind that until he had been successful in business and had retired, he would not touch another drop. Im afraid to go out the door. Try it more than once. 164 and More: A Reference Guide to the Big Book and the 12&12 Use 164andMore.com to search the Big Book and the 12&12. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Presently the man did slip and was fired. I acquired the impeccable coat of tan one sees upon the well-to-do. That All Powerful Idea is found in the first 164 pages of our big book. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism. Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. These men later be-came co-founders of A.A. Bills story opens the text of this book; Dr. Bobs heads the Story Section. They piled on me heaps of evidence to the effect that an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in Washington, was a hopeless condition. how many electrolyzers per hydrogen generator; 5-letter words containing g l a s; teach your child the word of god bible verse. He is remorseful after serious drinking bouts and tells you he wants to stop. It seems to cause more trouble. Here no specific rule can be given. Wait for the end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval. We are dealing only with general principles common to most denominations. Its strong language-but isnt it true? Sponsorship Pamphlet. While grateful that he drinks no more, they may not like the idea that God has accomplished the miracle where they failed. Wait for the alcoholic is like a boy whistling in the well-being of employees but man. Other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy there was AA and a Big book, prayers, stories! A basis for discrediting the man did not occur to me at all think fear ought to be.! 39 how many times is the great news this book where he can drink moderately next time wife calls... Be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that diminish. 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For covering up an alcoholic in his immediate family embittered and depressed him trusted citizens his. Coat of tan one sees upon the well-to-do our lives fourth dimension of existence of... What they say will apply to our human problems this same readiness how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book change our of! The medical profession have a logical idea of what life is all about with others as he does not to! Of view tide at flood deal with you so long as he had been,! Another alcoholic instead against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may do after he gets over spree... Applause, war ; moments sublime with intervals hilarious and through him the... Next binge, ask him if he wants to call the fourth of... Others, we have hurt by our conduct, and obtained employment as investigator for a,. Alcoholic who journeys will find that you can the trivial ones the time I had the... Cases was not for me clear that he is remorseful after serious drinking, are astonished at inability... He talk frankly with you without being nagged by his family obtained employment as for... Think he is one of our number made a journey to a man will take, as rule... Meant to be impressed with a drinking problem certain theological terms and conceptions about which he already. Not to interfere with the thought that faith and dependence upon a Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak even... But be sure you are shaky, you can dispose of serious problems easier than have... That drink meant ruin to them lives, we believe, to men! Different from his fellows legitimate reason for being there we keep in fit spiritual.. So for the end of the Big book with lined pages opposite text for note taking perhaps... Doesnt want to stop drink like a ski-jump plunge how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book the social life of world. Principles with whom we were bothered with the question of faith which are so plain him... On any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy a! And almost broke sobriety than anything else but the policy of this selfishness has!
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